Latest from The Conservative Mom

Stop Pushing for Perfection and Embrace Being an Imperfect Mom

In the age of the so-called “supermom” are you holding yourself up to too high of a standard?

A recent survey found that out of 13,000 people who were interviewed, 60% of moms felt like they were failing, especially during the first year of parenthood. Many moms feel guilty because they can’t live up to the standards of perfection that society constantly preaches.

Visions of the “perfect mom” are displayed in movies, magazines, and on social media. They give us a long laundry list of all the things that we need to do and be in order to be a perfect mom ourselves. And we lose ourselves struggling to check off every box on that ever-changing list.

Instead of pushing for perfection that can never really be achieved, it is far healthier for you – and your kids – to embrace the “imperfect” mom that you are!

Always remember that “perfection” is subjective. Put five people in a room together and everyone will have a different opinion of what perfection looks like.

For instance, imagine two painters are sitting next to each other in a class painting a tree. The first art student may believe that only an absolutely perfect rendition of an actual tree is art, so she strives to make her painting as photo-realistic as possible. The second student may believe that for her, abstraction is perfection, and so she works to create a painting that would do Picasso proud.

When the two students examine each other’s work, they will both see flaws, because their idea of perfection has not been met. The same goes for motherhood. Everyone will have their own ideas and opinions of what a perfect mother should look like. Many of those opinions will contradict each other. If we try to please everyone, we will always fail.

Your Kids Do Not Have to Be Perfect Either

Not only do most moms today feel tremendous pressure to be perfect, but we feel pressured to have perfect kids. Society leads us to believe that if we can somehow be that “perfect mother,” then our kids will turn out to be perfect kids who will grow up to be valuable, contributing members of society.

Your kids’ value is not determined by how perfect of a mother you are, or how perfect they are. God has placed a tremendous value on each life independent of such criteria. As a mother, you can teach them to contribute to the lives of others. They can grow up into amazing men and women who can change the world, all without the pressure to be perfect.

That’s really it in a nutshell. God does not make mistakes, so that means He made you perfectly imperfect!

God created you to be exactly as you are – with all your strengths, weaknesses, quirks, and imperfections. He intentionally made you to be the mom that your kids would need. Think about it — God could have given your son or daughter to any other mom.

But He didn’t! He gave your kids to you. He knew that your kids would need the perspective, life, and love that only you can offer.

You are the perfect mom for your kids!

About Cynthia Lechan-Goodman

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