Latest from The Conservative Mom

Online Toilet Paper Calculator – Say What?

CNN recently released a report that shared a new website that is designed to help us all determine if we are using the right amount of toilet paper. According to the report, was created by a student who felt people needed to know how long their toilet paper stash would last. Thus far, the website is generating lots of interest.

The layout of the website allows users to enter how many rolls of toilet paper they have, how many times they visit the bathroom, how often they wipe their ass, and then how many sheets they use when they wipe. If it all sounds like one big joke, believe me …it’s real! The fascination with toilet paper during this particular pandemic has overshadowed the need for water and medical supplies. This website is living proof that we, as a people, are losing our minds.

Over 2 million people have reportedly used the tool on the website to determine if they are going to run out of toilet paper. The frightening thing about this is that folks no longer trust their own judgment or their ability to simply use common sense when wiping their private parts. Now, we need computers to tell us if we are wiping too much or too little.

It has become so bad that many retailers throughout the United States have found themselves forced to place limits on the amount of toilet paper a person can purchase in one visit. People apparently can’t even use their own judgment in deciding if they have bought too much of the product. I recently visited a local grocery store and took it upon myself to interview the store manager about this toilet paper pandemic that we are all facing.

According to the store manager, “people are buying up so much toilet paper that keeping up with demand is almost impossible.” The store manager then told me that they have created a new rule that people cannot bring their unused toilet paper packs back to the grocery store for a refund. Wow. So, that means that there will be thousands of people attempting to sell toilet paper at a discount on eBay once the pandemic is over. Can’t wait.

The online website that is currently attempting to assist us all with toilet paper usage and supply was actually a brilliant idea! The student saw an immediate need (desperate people who lost their damned minds) and an overabundance of toilet paper purchases.

He saw that people forgot—or perhaps never knew—how to survive without toilet paper. The idea that a person could get in the shower (they’re already in the bathroom), or use a towel (simply disinfect the thing after each use), or even a newspaper, if need be! What other use is a newspaper these days anyway? The website creator saw a need and he filled it…much like toilet paper. I can’t be angry with him for that.

All in all, the website is a reminder to us all that we need to stop and remember that we have the ability to think for ourselves. We have the ability to utilize our critical thinking skills for more than just analyzing the meaning behind Trump’s statements, and we have the ability to understand our own bodies more than anyone…let alone a computer program.

We need to remember all of this because if we don’t, we will soon see more websites created that will do our thinking for us. Do you want that? I know I don’t. So, put down the toilet paper roll and take a moment to remember who you are and the power you possess. Your mind is a terrible thing to waste. And trust me, honey…all the toilet paper in the world won’t be able to clean that one up!

About Audra L.

Audra L. is an author, columnist and community activist who's dedicated to finding truth through research and effective communication. She received her degree in Public Policy and teaches Community Development, Public Speaking and Communications Law to youth throughout the nation. She is the recipient of over 23 awards and honors for her commitment to community outreach initiatives.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Check Also

I Am Now Inclined To Believe Tara Reade

In virtually all the #MeToo cases, I have held to the legal standard that proof ...

How to Help Your Kids Through COVID-19 Related Disappointments

Dealing with a disappointment is very tough for kids from toddlers to teens. During the ...

Snippets: Cohen out, Pocahontas in?, Covid-19 deaths and planned non-parenting

Michael Cohen out Former Trump Organization attorney who unsuccessfully flipped on President Trump is out ...

How to Deal With a Picky Eater During Coronavirus Lockdown

Do you have a picky eater? If so, then you know how tough mealtimes can ...

Is Your Child Regressing Under COVID-19 Lockdowns?

Since being stuck at home for over two months now, many parents of young children ...