Kids aren’t growing up according to a new survey
It states that snow-plow parents are the worst of all parents. They still helping their adult children complete certain tasks that they should know how to do at the time of adulthood — which is right after high school graduation.
What tasks are snow-plow parents doing? Here are some examples:
Scheduling appointments, helping their child study for an exam, telling them what career to pursue, providing financial support, or calling their kid’s employer when something was going wrong at work.
Sometimes I read these types of complaints online and ask what do people think adult children are doing for their aging parents? There are plenty of adults who spend a good portion of their own working years providing food, money, and assistance for their aging parents. Are these people snow-plow adult-children?
Many adult children help their aged parents fill out social security and insurance forms. They write appeal letters. Some parents even call their aging parents’ landlord, if they rent, or their banks on their behalf when there’s a problem.
What’s the difference if you’re a youth vs. an aged person? The argument against snow-plow parenting is that ‘growing up means making mistakes’ so the converse can be ‘growing old means making mistakes, too.”
The problem is that mistakes are costly. Mistakes are not seen as learning opportunities for life lessons. One too many life lessons later, you can end up ruining a future, and it doesn’t have to include going to jail or filing bankruptcy. In life, there are few opportunities and a small portion of open doors. It’s a lot of responsibility for a child who has just graduated from high school. As a mother of four kids, I often wonder if we are pushing youth to be grown too fast and too hard.
I understand that after high school teens are expected to be prepared to enter the real world, but most of them are not. Could it be that life moves so fast in high school between the parent’s job, after-school activities and homework that there’s little time left for parents to finish their role by the age of 18?
Rather than tear down parents who are doing the best that they can, it would be even better to talk about the current societal structures in place that prevent parents from being home with their children more so that they can complete their jobs rather than having to see it extend it beyond high school graduation.