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Is Marriage Worth It In Today’s World?

You know when your parents used to implore, “If all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you?”

Apparently, the correct answer was no… unless you were talking about marriage.

Then it became, “If all of your friends are settling down and getting married, why aren’t you?” Suddenly, that foreboding “bridge” everyone was jumping off of morphed into a glorious wedding aisle.

Parents want their children to be happy and because love and companionship are things that generally make us happy; we tend to think of marriage and happiness as one and the same.

In theory, the institution of marriage is a beautiful concept. In practice, correlating direct parallels between the two can be problematic for reasons I’m about to address — continue reading at your own risk.

I’m not anti-marriage. In fact, I think it’s wonderful if you can make a partnership work and be happy with your decision at least 70% or the time.

However, a growing percentage of the population is either not getting married or ending current ones, and I think that’s mainly because humans have spent decades over-simplifying the nuances of matrimony.

For starters, the concept of a legal union between man and woman goes back to biblical times, where marriage was a promise to each other and to God. (Sorry gays, this was back in the old-timey days). Many people still view it as very much the same thing, and that’s perfectly respectable, but it doesn’t account for the everyday logistics of marriage.

See, the institution of matrimony made way more sense when people were dying at 24. Partnering up with someone at 13 and spending a whole ELEVEN years with that same person seemed totally doable. But thanks to modern science and medicine, people are living to be well into their 90’s.

So now, instead of putting up with your S.O.’s crap for eleven years, it’s now become a seventy-year commitment. And that’s an astronomically huge difference that people need to take into consideration when they’re standing at the alter promising to love someone till “death do us part.” Remember that time you decided not to go into med school because it took up such a significant time of your life? Yeah, times that by ten.

Another huge factor is divorce. Back in the day, divorce wasn’t even an option until 1857 when the UK was the first country to make it legal. But very few people actually went through with it because divorce was considered an affront to God and your promise to him.

Now that divorce is significantly more common and less taboo, at face value it would appear younger generations either have less respect for the institution or just can’t commit and invest the way prior generations could.

Both arguments might hold weight but what they fail to take into account is how many people remain in horrible marriages because they are too afraid of the embarrassed associated with the D-word. Imagine how many couples spend their entire life in absolute misery because of a promise predicated on an institution set centuries prior when society was vastly different? Our viewpoints on just about every other aspect of society have evolved, so why not how we acknowledge matrimony?

Bottom line: life is way too short to be in a relationship with someone that doesn’t fundamentally make you happy at least most of the time. Conversely, life is way too long to not be very careful about who you choose to spend all those years with.

Finally, stop buying into the lie that the only way to be happy is through marriage because that’s not always true and is a blanketed summation of a very complicated thing that sets most of us up for failure

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About Mcclain W.

10 comments

  1. A good article, but I believe you have not pointed out the main point, which is that “back in the day”, a marriage involved give and take on both sides, and men (not just women) got something out of the bargain. Feminists and Marxists have ruined the institution by turning it into a voluntary entrance into slavery for men, with nothing gained in return. A man has to be literally insane to get married under the present-day legal meaning of “marriage”.

  2. Important point you leave out is what is lacking in a marriage is a commitment ,and beyond this all over every aspect is taking responsibility for ones life

    Often does people can’t have a marriage work are blown about in the wind by their heartfelt feelings

    Not living up to their word Which is much more powerful

  3. THE QUESTION:
    “IS MARRIAGE WORTHED ON TODAYS WORLD??”
    ~~~~~
    WHAT A QUESTION!!
    TO THINK THAT A UNION BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN IS QUESTIONABLE IN TODAYS WORLD IS “ADMITTING” AND “SUBMISSION” TO THE IMMORALLITY OF THIS WORLD!
    ~~~~
    WE NEED TO STANDUP AND DEFEND MARRIAGE WITH POSSITIVE STATEMENTS AND “NOT”WITH-QUESTIONS OF DEFEAT!
    ~~~~
    MARRIAGE IS “STILL” THE FOUNDATION BETWEEN A UNION OF MAN AND WOMEN !
    ~~~
    LETS SEND POSITIVE MESSAGES OF MARRIAGE ESPECIALLY TO TODAYS YOUTHS!!

  4. I agree with a great deal of what you say. We are in a situation today where the earth is way over populated and we have people starving due to lack of food. And in these times, I am horrified at what bringing a child into this society will do to them. I am 75 years old, have been married twice and now prefer living alone. I DO crave companionship and someone to go to dinner or the theater with. But my new rules? I will see you one day a week. Wear your best underwear.

  5. I guess you must do a good job looking for the right person. First of all, find someone that is equally yoked. In other words, find someone that believes like you do. My wife and I both believe in God and practiced the same religion. Equally, if you are an atheist, then I would start there. Secondly, opposites do not attract in terms of a lasting relationship. You have to find someone that likes the same things you like. Enjoys the same activities.
    I am going on 35 yrs. with my wife. I love her more now than the day I married her. I know a lot of people that are very lonely when they turn the lamp off at night, and I guess I’m one of the lucky ones. I have a soul mate and partner to share the rest of my life with.

  6. I’m disappointed with the simplistic view of marriage. We choose love… and to be Blessed enough to love 1 person, good times & bad, is how we were designed. Why are people afraid to commit and do the work? Life is not easy, why not be with 1 person to help you along the way. 1 person you can totally be yourself with?

  7. Not much conservative, family-friendly or wise in this little article. “…happy with your decision 70% of the time.” Says who? Marriage is intended to be centered around the God of the Bible, and is based upon COMMITMENT, not convenience (or happiness). A woman and a man, each placing the other’s needs ahead of their own (Check out Ephesians 5:21-33). You’re also ignorant of some people’s ages in ancient Biblical times: try being married for a CENTURY, NOT “a whole eleven years.” Is marriage incredibly difficult at times? You betcha! Is it the building block for a stable society? Absolutely! Divorce IS too easily obtained; the government HAS insinuated itself into family life as a pseudo-husband/father; we ARE wildly selfish creatures. All of this changes nothing: there is no substitute for true marriage. It’s well worth the major investment, but if you’re not willing to do it God’s way, maybe you should steer clear.

  8. Norman Hinderliter

    Simple answer is NO. The concept, of marriage, being a stabilizing factor, in peoples lives, is just a fantasy, nowadays. What with people LOSING jobs, left and right, then having to take on two, or even three, jobs, per person, just to meet current bills.

    The days of the safety, and comfort, of the family home, have dissolved, just as the Berlin Wall dissolved. The “security”, of marriage, is a thing of the past!

  9. Written by liberal, not conservative, not God fearing woman. You have gone the way of the world.

  10. So many cynical views of marriage!? Yes, marriage as with all things in life has its ups and downs. It is how you weather these storms that you come out stronger in the end. It is never just 50-50% I tell people, sometimes it may be 30/70 or 20/80 or 60/40 whatever it constantly changes to the situation and flows and adjusts to one may be helping the other in times of illness and so forth. The main things are stay true to your vows, stay committed bc too many give up too easily these days. If you think I am staying married no matter what( unless of course abuse) then you are going to work it out. Happily married for 35 years( together 37) with 5 kids- last one is only 13 yo so still long way to go with God’s grace at least another 35 years more!

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