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Overcoming The Fear Of Moving Forward After Divorce

When you have lived with another person for years, it will become almost unfathomable to think of living your life alone. Unfortunately, this is the case for most of us who find ourselves separate from the life we once knew.

If you are newly separated from your spouse and you can’t imagine how you can ever pick up the pieces of your life, then this is for you. Let’s begin by first opening your mind to the concept that your life is not broken into a million pieces just because you are on your own.

Your life is what you make it, and today you will learn how to control your thoughts so that you can gain better control of your new life.

What you think is what you are

You may not know this, but if you think you can’t live without someone, you’re making it a reality. When someone is about to embark upon a new life after marriage, they are either happy about the change or devastated. If devastation is the emotion that you are feeling, worry no more. You have the power to change how you feel the moment you change how you think.

Stop telling yourself that you can’t live your life without the support or guidance of someone else. Take the time to read books that will show you how to regain control of your thoughts and embrace the new you that you are about to become. A great book to start with is “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. This book does a great job of helping you to discover your inner peace by silencing the noise that tends to interrupt your joyful experiences. You will learn how to accept the moment, rather than continually focusing on the past or the future.

The past is done…it’s gone, so let it go. The future isn’t here, so why continue putting energy into it? Learning the importance of your now is something that will help you to discover your power and build on how you think of yourself.

Focus on the lessons

Every unfortunate experience has a valuable lesson attached. If you were in a relationship that involved ongoing arguments and strife, take the time to understand what brought about the fights. What were the core issues at that time?

By learning from pain, you will not only ensure personal growth, but you will also assist in guaranteeing that the mistakes made will not be repeated. Additionally, when you look at pain as a lesson, you will not feel so self-defeated by the emotion. It is all about how you look at things…not just how things look at the time.

Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real

Fear is an emotion that is meant to warn us against danger. Once the danger is over, the fear that we feel is supposed to fade away. The problem is that we have learned how to embrace fear for things that aren’t even associated with danger.

We fear the future, we fear the moment, we fear people, we fear the possibility of a new relationship, and so on. When we live in perpetual fear, we set ourselves up for illnesses and depression…all of which deplete our energy and opportunity for true happiness.

You must understand that you have the power to release fear the moment you embrace the joyful possibilities of your life. If you take the time to discover things that make you feel good, that you look forward to, and that you love, then you will take away the power that you give to the emotion of fear.

Living your best life can begin the moment you sign the divorce papers. You simply have to believe this in order for it to become your personal reality. Even if you feel sadness right now, it’s alright. As long as you don’t linger in the room of sadness, and you are willing to do the work needed to become your best self, you will find your way to joy. It awaits you now, as a matter of fact. Won’t you join it?

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About Audra L.

Audra L. is an author, columnist and community activist who's dedicated to finding truth through research and effective communication. She received her degree in Public Policy and teaches Community Development, Public Speaking and Communications Law to youth throughout the nation. She is the recipient of over 23 awards and honors for her commitment to community outreach initiatives.

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